Our question today comes from Elise over at ECWrites. Not only is her blog hilarious, but if it doesn't touch you once in a while, you should try out for the leading role in the next Grinch movie.
Elise asks:
Dear Tom,
Why do men only remember the last 30 seconds of what a woman says? Why isn't it 15 seconds or 60 seconds? What's so magical about 30?
I am a 77 year old college graduate who believes that one can never get
too much education. Can you recommend a school for cougars?
Sincerely,
Fishducky
Ask Tom Says:
I thought Splitter might have already had to resort to faking questions when he sent me this. I still think this all might be an elaborate scheme to make me look like an idiot, but since Splitter is paying me ten bucks to give my views, I will answer.
Fishducky, you go girl. Er….ma’am. I think it’s great that even though there is snow on the roof, the fire in the furnace is still burning strong! I do, however, have to question the wisdom of targeting 20 year old college boys for your amorous desires.
If the student union is to be your hunting ground, make sure the school has a good history department. Face it, no matter how tireless your young buck might be, you are going to have to talk to him at some point. I am not saying that all 20 year old men are idiots, but they are not going to hold the intellectual attention of such a worldly woman for long. To you, they are going to seem stupid.
Like a wise man once said, you can’t fix stupid (sound is NOT safe for work):
If you mention the Cuban Missile Crisis and the young man thinks that is a stomach disorder caused by Taco Bell, you might have a communication problem.
If he thinks John Wayne must be Lil Wayne’s brother, you might have a communication problem.
If you talk about the Bay of Pigs and that reminds him of his last pool party at the Pi Delta Moo-Moo sorority house, you might have a communication problem.
My strong suggestion to you is that you not fool around with the twenty-somethings. Maybe set you sights on their fifty-something professors. After all, even though you can’t fix stupid, you can fix some things with a little blue pill. You reading me on this Fishducky? Anything lasting more than four hours is a party, just beware of chaffing and heart murmurs.
If you do insist on pursuing those college boys, I think you will find that most people will not hold it against you. Even though people look askance (that was my word for the day!) at young women who date older men and think they are only doing it to rob the old guy of all of his money, society has accepted the modern day cougar. It is perfectly fine for older women to date younger men. After all, it is much easier for 21 to go into 77 than for 77 to go into 21…
I hope that helps,
Tom
Disclaimer: Views expressed here do not represent the views of the owners of this site, or even polite society at large. Views presented here are solely those of Tom Crayder, star of the BEST SELLING series, The Crayder Chronicles. Blame him.
The Reluctant just exploded onto Amazon’s “free" eBook charts.
We hit:
#2 in Free, eBook, Fiction, Action and Adventure
#2 in Free, eBook, Fiction, Contemporary Fiction
#24 in Free, eBook, Fiction
#34 in Free, eBook
You will note that in that last category, we were competing with EVERY other free title out there, fiction or non-fiction. We topped the Bible at one point.
They say that authors should never talk numbers, but you know me and my attitude about “the rules” nonsense. I was honest with you people when no one was reading the book and when only a few, my happy few, were reading it. I will be honest again: over the last three days, The Reluctant was downloaded more than 11,500 times.
I am truly humbled to think that so many people have my first book in their hands. I will continue to be honest: I made it free so people could sample the series and get hooked enough to buy the second book and future books. When I opened my author dashboard on Amazon’s KDP site, I thought the number (somewhere around 5,000 at the time) was a mistake. I would be lying if I said I expected it to shoot to the top of the charts in a day and hang there.
It will not last forever and when I start the freefall from the top of the genre charts, I may need a hug. But, it was tremendously fun and exciting to watch the numbers mount. Yes, I took screen shots and especially love the ones where The Reluctant was listed right next to a James Patterson book.
Are we allowed to use the term “Best Selling” now as we promote the other book and future books?
Hiedi over at Rainy Day Ramblings was kind enough to have me on for a guest post.
This post is REALLY about how writers SHOULD NOT respond to reviews. So, I break that rule (it's what I do here!). See my response to Heidi's very thoughtful review.
Then you will know why authors should never respond to reviews...
Today, we begin a new feature here on Splitter's World: Ask Tom Tuesday. Each Tuesday, Tom Crayder will drop by to share his thoughts on questions that readers have sent in.
Our first question for “Ask Tom Crayder” comes from Cambria Hebert at Cambriahebert.com where today, she is asking: who is your favorite villain? No contest for me: Khan from Star Trek. The series or the movie, he is awesome in both. Go give your answer on Cambria's blog now!
