Ask Tom Tuesday - Cougars

Our question today comes from Fishducky and, while she does not have her own blog, someone has DEDICATED a blog to her.

How cool do you have to be to have someone dedicate a blog to you?  I, obviously, have no idea because I am just not that cool.

What is a Fishducky?  Get the answer here:  What is a Fishducky?

Fishducky writes:

Dear Splitter.

I am a 77 year old college graduate who believes that one can never get

too much education.  Can you recommend a school for cougars?

Sincerely,

Fishducky

Ask Tom Says:

I thought Splitter might have already had to resort to faking questions when he sent me this.  I still think this all might be an elaborate scheme to make me look like an idiot, but since Splitter is paying me ten bucks to give my views, I will answer.

Fishducky, you go girl.  Er….ma’am.  I think it’s great that even though there is snow on the roof, the fire in the furnace is still burning strong!  I do, however, have to question the wisdom of targeting 20 year old college boys for your amorous desires.

If the student union is to be your hunting ground, make sure the school has a good history department.  Face it, no matter how tireless your young buck might be, you are going to have to talk to him at some point.  I am not saying that all 20 year old men are idiots, but they are not going to hold the intellectual attention of such a worldly woman for long.  To you, they are going to seem stupid.

Like a wise man once said, you can’t fix stupid (sound is NOT safe for work):

If you mention the Cuban Missile Crisis and the young man thinks that is a stomach disorder caused by Taco Bell, you might have a communication problem.

If he thinks John Wayne must be Lil Wayne’s brother, you might have a communication problem.

If you talk about the Bay of Pigs and that reminds him of his last pool party at the Pi Delta Moo-Moo sorority house, you might have a communication problem.

My strong suggestion to you is that you not fool around with the twenty-somethings.  Maybe set you sights on their fifty-something professors.  After all, even though you can’t fix stupid, you can fix some things with a little blue pill.  You reading me on this Fishducky?  Anything lasting more than four hours is a party, just beware of chaffing and heart murmurs.

If you do insist on pursuing those college boys, I think you will find that most people will not hold it against you.  Even though people look askance (that was my word for the day!) at young women who date older men and think they are only doing it to rob the old guy of all of his money, society has accepted the modern day cougar.  It is perfectly fine for older women to date younger men.  After all, it is much easier for 21 to go into 77 than for 77 to go into 21…

I hope that helps,

Tom

Disclaimer:  Views expressed here do not represent the views of the owners of this site, or even polite society at large.  Views presented here are solely those of Tom Crayder, star of the BEST SELLING series, The Crayder Chronicles.  Blame him.