*cough*
Woah - it looks like I might have had the wrong impression *sneeze* about Splitter all along.
I know that he claims he has a life outside of entertaining everyone who comes to this neck of the woods and all and I really didn’t believe that to be the case. I lean more towards he is holed up in a cabin in the woods somewhere trying to reenact scenes from the epic Joss Whedon film, and figuring out if a cheese grater is the best way to dispose of a body or if he’s going to have to go all Fargo on us and use the wood chipper.
This picture is a good representation of what Splitters office currently looks like
I know I’ve never been the best at housekeeping, but even I accidentally dust now and then and I’m quite glad that I do for multiple reasons.
1) I am allergic to dust.
2) Chicks do not dig dust bunnies - no matter how much I try to put them in a cute pink outfit and pretend to hold conversations with them.
As I said above, my dusting is of the accidental variety. Remember the first time you went to a strip club (if not, remember the first time you saw a bad strip club scene in a movie) and the chick on stage took off an article of clothing and swung it around over her head pretending it was a lasso? Yeah - well, I kinda sorta do that same thing after having a few beers after work.
I then throw the article of clothing and let it land wherever it may (I won’t be rude and tell you it’s generally my underwear). The impact of the landing is kinda-sorta a forced dusting and in two weeks when I go to find that pair because it’s laundry day I’ll make sure to swirl them around a bit and then blow the remaining dust off of whatever object that they might have landed on.
I can’t exactly tell you all how I ended up in Splitters office, but I can tell you that he does keep a fully stocked beer cooler and if you ask me that’s pretty much like inviting me over so I don’t feel guilty about looking through his things.
Since the maid appears to be off as well I’m just going to have a few more of these and I’ll help Splitter clean the place up the best way I know how. Hope he likes what I do with the place.
Serge was here.
Woah - it looks like I might have had the wrong impression *sneeze* about Splitter all along.
I know that he claims he has a life outside of entertaining everyone who comes to this neck of the woods and all and I really didn’t believe that to be the case. I lean more towards he is holed up in a cabin in the woods somewhere trying to reenact scenes from the epic Joss Whedon film, and figuring out if a cheese grater is the best way to dispose of a body or if he’s going to have to go all Fargo on us and use the wood chipper.
This picture is a good representation of what Splitters office currently looks like
I know I’ve never been the best at housekeeping, but even I accidentally dust now and then and I’m quite glad that I do for multiple reasons.
1) I am allergic to dust.
2) Chicks do not dig dust bunnies - no matter how much I try to put them in a cute pink outfit and pretend to hold conversations with them.
As I said above, my dusting is of the accidental variety. Remember the first time you went to a strip club (if not, remember the first time you saw a bad strip club scene in a movie) and the chick on stage took off an article of clothing and swung it around over her head pretending it was a lasso? Yeah - well, I kinda sorta do that same thing after having a few beers after work.
I then throw the article of clothing and let it land wherever it may (I won’t be rude and tell you it’s generally my underwear). The impact of the landing is kinda-sorta a forced dusting and in two weeks when I go to find that pair because it’s laundry day I’ll make sure to swirl them around a bit and then blow the remaining dust off of whatever object that they might have landed on.
I can’t exactly tell you all how I ended up in Splitters office, but I can tell you that he does keep a fully stocked beer cooler and if you ask me that’s pretty much like inviting me over so I don’t feel guilty about looking through his things.
Since the maid appears to be off as well I’m just going to have a few more of these and I’ll help Splitter clean the place up the best way I know how. Hope he likes what I do with the place.
Serge was here.
Who the hell is Serge???
ReplyDeleteJust a guy who needs a performance pouch in his undies in order to impress the ladies!
DeleteROFL. Serge is is a rather hairy fan and FRIEND of mine. He plays poker, loves the Steelers, and rums his own Blog called Confessions of a Local Fish. He is reported to be harmless.
ReplyDeleteHonest, I just wrote him (and Sean, my bunny loving commie friend in Cali) onto book three. They are a German couple...grasp that one for a sec...that dressed up as Batman and Robin for Halloween. They will both also have actual parts in the fourth book. Yeah, I should ask permission of both for those things, especially the whole spandex wearing thing.
Serge, aka Grrouch, consider yourself asked. :) I'll need to send Sean an email, too.
Careful, FD, I might also have a role in book four for a cool "older women" who goes hunting for good times on college campuses :).
Thanks, guys! This surprise guest Blog made.my morning! Except for the underwear thing...underwear is sooooo 80's :).
Splitter
PS....that is my favorite beer.Mrs. Splitter and I plan on having a few of those if I make the cookout in time.
DeleteSplitter
For a long time Yuengling was my favorite beer - however it's one of those things I had to give up when I moved to the West Coast. My other Favorite was Blue Light!
DeleteI'm hoping to make it to the East Coast sometime nearing the end of the year (it might have to be the beginning of next year) and hitting up a few hundred people during my mini-tour.
At that point I'm going to try to arrange a meet up with you even if just briefly in passing by.
As for the book.
consider yourself permissed (?).
I officially declare that your editor is my image manager (no Trish, you do not get a finders fee) and as long as she enjoys my characterization I'm good with anything!
Well, if I don't get a finder's fee, are you at least buying me a drink? :P
DeleteI'm glad you made it into the 3rd/4th book, even if it is in spandex.
I'll buy you a drink.
DeleteBut seeing as how you are not supposed to be drinking I'll just drink it myself.
How about Ice Cream instead?
Also, with as much as I used to wear fishnets, spandex doesn't bother me!
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThat did not come out the way it was supposed to! What I meant was
DeleteNot drinking? Are you pregnant?
Serge,
ReplyDeleteYou never fail to make me laugh.
Splitter,
Glad you are alive
Thanks Jenn,
DeleteMuch appreciated!
Rumors of my death have been greatly exaggerated. :).
DeleteSplitter