First, let me say that I am drugged so
the quality of this writing will be abysmal. Second, let me say that
I am drugged so....wait....duuuuude....I am so stoned....what is that
alarm? (true story, an alarm went off right there lol).
I write this because it is really very
taxing to give the same answers over and over to concerned
individuals. I love you guys but talking bout this stuff is getting
old. I know they care, but one can only speak of their own mortality
so many times before depression, or desperation, kicks in.
Hellooooooo! Anyone out there? Hey, you! In the back row. I see you hiding there. Leave a comment so I know people still check in here.
Bullet updates and random thoughts:
STILL struggling with book three. Working on it but taking a break to post this. The struggle? Trying to write a woman and do her justice is tough. Plus, I have been working 60 hours a week so even when I am home, I am recuperating more than writing. Yeah, life sucks a bit but it's better than the alternative :).
Did the PA Ren Faire so that took up a weekend. Looney Lucy and Ploppy are better than ever. Don Juan and Miguel were ok. Not much of a turnout there, kinda makes you wonder about the state of the economy. Nevermind, no wondering needed. Still sucks :).
I think I first became aware of Big Al's Books and Pals in March of 2011 when I was researching blogs to
which I could peddle my first book. At that time, the story of the
day was "The Greek Seaman"
Our question today comes from some
woman that I got stuck with for two hours (long story). I don't know
how the conversation turned to her love life...some people just
over-share...but the issue is one with which we have all dealt at one
point or another:
People that know me know that I have,
what I consider to be, a healthy semi-obsession with George R.R.
Martin and his “A Song of Ice and Fire” series. Watching “Game
of Thrones: on HBO? Martin is the guy who wrote the books on which
the series is based. The first three books in the series are the
best fantasy ever written.
Martin published those first three
books in the space of about four years. Not a bad rate.
Unfortunately, the fourth book took something like five years to
publish and the fifth took another five (plus) years to get to print.
His fans split over the delay and Martin's public relations machine
went on an extended vacation as updates on progress were nearly
non-existent.
His supporters proclaimed that “you
cannot rush art!” His detractors opined that Martin had become
lazy, distracted, and had possibly lost his magic touch. As the
battle in fandom raged, Neil Gaiman came to his defense and famously
told the detractors that “George R.R. Martin is not your bitch!”
Well, I am not George R.R. Martin and
aside from the facts that he has sold many millions more books, is a
better writer of prose, and is the creator of the world for HBO's
flagship series these days, I feel obligated to give my readers,
friends, and fans (my Happy Few), an update.
Woah - it looks like I might have had the wrong impression *sneeze* about Splitter all along.
I
know that he claims he has a life outside of entertaining everyone who
comes to this neck of the woods and all and I really didn’t believe that
to be the case. I lean more towards he is holed up in a cabin in the
woods somewhere trying to reenact scenes from the epic Joss Whedon film,
and figuring out if a cheese grater is the best way to dispose of a
body or if he’s going to have to go all Fargo on us and use the wood
chipper.
Hello everyone! Trish here! Since the Boss-man is working his fingers
to the bone, I figured I'd hijack Splitter's blog to let you in on some
great news! This weekend only, for the first time ever, The Willing is
FREE!
Splitter posted this on Facebook just a few minutes ago:
That's right. For the first time ever, The Willing has charted on
Amazon and sits at #66 in Action/Adventure Ebooks and, also for the
first time, it is free to you.
Get both, my treat. And...SPREAD THE WORD to your interwebs virtual friends.
Splitter
In
addition to this great news, The Willing also hit #55 in the UK! So
thanks to you who have who have already purchased both The Willing and
The Reluctant! And to those of you who haven't, here's your perfect
chance to get all caught up - free! - before the 3rd book comes out
(later this year).
I will now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcasting. :)
Today's question comes from me as I indulge in a bit of writer-navel-gazing. Writers need their characters to grow in some way, to change. Readers need it too and that's one of the reasons a character may or may not be interesting. So saying, I would note that the growth and/or change does not have to be for the better.
Were all of Bilbo's changes for the better? Is Jason Bourne all warm and cuddly now? How about Thelma and Louise? The journey is the interesting part of the change, not the outcome.
So I asked Tom Crayder: What have you learned during your two book journey thus far?
I hoped for some insight from my main character. He has, at times, shown a capacity for introspection. What I got was this.
As a midweek surprise today, I have a guest post by fellow/future author Frank Smith.
A little background: Frank and I met on an Internet discussion board. That is sort of the same way I met my wife but please do not confuse the two...Mrs. Splitter is better looking. He and I quickly found out that we were both of a minority opinion on that board and formed one of those new-fangled Internet friendships via that forum's private messaging system.
There seems to be a burning question out there among women and it has nothing to do with women. I have received several questions pertaining to one subject and all but one of the interested parties has requested to remain anonymous.
I am not sure why women do not want to be identified with their questions on male grooming and can only surmise that their husbands/boyfriends read this blog and the women do not want to start an argument with their significant others. This is in an age when every other television ad is about either E.D. (and if you know what that is, the advertising has been effective) or feminine hygiene (I have even seen these during football games!).
Maybe Tom can help the ladies get the results they want without damaging any egos.
Today, while Tom is off doing whatever it is that he does (wink, wink), we are honored to welcome Grrouchie from Confessions of a Local Fish for a guest post.
And I am sorry to the sensitive...this is a VERY manly guest post and NOT for the faint of heart. You really might want to pass on this until that Egg McMuffin settles. Really, it made me heave a couple times and I write about people who find unusual ways to dispose of bodies.
The Indianapolis Colts are expected to take Andrew Luck with the first pick in the upcoming NFL draft. This will go down in history as one of the biggest “misses” of all time because Luck is doomed to fail.
“Doomed” may be too strong a word. It might be more accurate to say that if he succeeds it will be miraculous.
His impending failure has nothing to do with his abilities as a quarterback. He had a stellar college career that showed him to be accurate and intelligent. For an NFL QB, he has great athleticism even though he does not possess the same gifts as Robert Griffin III, the player that is likely to be picked right after Luck. As a matter of fact, all reports I have seen say that Luck even has those elusive “intangibles” that make a great QB, which include a knack for winning and leadership.
Tom just flew in from Vegas and, boy, are his arms tired.....
Today's topic comes from some Old Man over at Confessions of a Local Fish (remember to feed the fish at the top of the page, it is somehow mesmerizing)
I am told that the question needs to be read in a thick New York accent to get the right vibe.
The BlogTour officially ended with Indie Supporter's interview with Mrs. Splitter.
BUT! And this is a BIG but,I felt the need to do one more unofficial, unplugged, uncensored guest post and Grrouchie from Confessions of a Local Fish was kind enough to let me vent over there about....everything, but with special emphasis on Social Media.
I swear, Facebook and Twitter will be the downfall of us all.
If you have sensitive ears or can't stand a little rough language, skip this one. However, I will say that Grrouchie added at least one pic of a babe with a killer Evil Black Rifle and a navel ring...not sure which I like more...
I must let my football nerd out once in a while or he starts to take too much control over my thoughts and I find myself dreaming about stretch plays, buzz coverages, and blitz pickups.
Yeah, I know, most of my regular readers just clicked away without reading the rest of this, but I cannot stop now…
The Washington Redskins have made a huge trade to acquire the second pick in the upcoming draft and they are expected to take Robert Griffin III out of Baylor. To move up to the second spot, they swapped first round picks with the Rams and also gave up their first round picks in the next two drafts plus their second round pick this season.
I took a break from the normal blogtour stuff today to write about...well...blogtours : Rainy Day Ramblings
Kinda funny if I do say so myself. TCB, Baby!
Also, Heidi was kind enough to do a review of The Willing.. You can ALWAYS count on Heidi for thoughtful reviews. Check out her other reviews while you are over there.
This is one of my favorite blog even though I CANNOT get it set up to appear in my blog list over there on the right: EC Writes
And, as usual, Elisabeth has her heart firmly planted in the right place.
Two things:
Her blog is hilarious.
And THIS is a good cause.
How do I know? Because I have followed Elisabeth's blog long enough to know that if she says something is good or funny, it is. Fishducky also hangs out there and she has approved that message.
I promise a few laughs and, from listening to Coral's past shows, she is a hoot. Should be FUN.
Also, tomorrow, my guest post will appear on Two Fisted Blogger . I will be speaking about "What makes a good Action/Adventure" book like I know what I am talking about. Fake it 'till you make it, Baby!
Lastly, expect to see something special on here tomorrow as I attempt to work up some good karma.
Our question today comes from my buddy Jenn over at Indie Supporter. You can get your literary crack fix there, ya know. OH! And she does Monday Mandays. While you would think that would not interest me, the past two Mondays have featured hawt women including my number one "kitchen pass" selection, Jennifer Anniston. You can't hear my guttural growl, but it's happening as I type this...
That's the set up here, people. I gotta run now and battle the Amazon forces...
Jenn asks:
Why do guys continue to hit on a chick even when she's made it crystal clear she wants NOTHING to do with a man that way or even a relationship.
Tom Writes:
Dear Jenn:
Have you ever seen Lady and the Tramp? As Good as it Gets? What about Top Gun? Are you with me here, Goose?
This past weekend, The Reluctant climbed the Amazon charts for a second time. That happens with books, but usually it involves a well known author lowering the price to gain exposure. Then, when the book is high on the charts, they bump the price back up and make some money off the chart position.
Yesterday, I stopped in a J.A. Clement's blog: JAC's Blog . She should not be confused with J.A. Konrath....she is much better looking than Mr. Konrath (with all due respect to him). There are some chuckles there about The US vs. Britain.
Tomorrow, Ritesh will be hosting me: Hello from India Ritesh runs one of the most professional blogs around and has hosted some of my favorite authors in the past. Check out his reviews of "The Willing" on the links he provides. (The interview just went live)
YES! As of today, I am caught up for the month of February!
Today stop is with Dafeenah at Indie Designz . "D" is a very talented cover artist and does some wonderful pieces on getting books ready for publishing.
What sells a book? I have no idea, but I made a whole guest post about it lol.
Sorry to push Tom's posts down so fast on a Tuesday, but I wanted to let you all know that I will be on Journal Jabber TONIGHT at 9PM EASTERN. Guaranteed laughs or your money back.
Usually, Splitter does a little introduction before my Ask Tom Tuesday posts, but I am giving him the week off. He is in the middle of his BlogTour (Are you tired of hearing about it, yet? I am. Anyway...) and way behind on his guest posts and interviews. He is also writing the third book in the series which, I am told, does not even involve me!
His loss. I bet it sells 3 copies and that's only because people owe him money.
He has sent me a bunch of questions to choose from (from which to choose? I dunno, Splitter is the writer, I just work here). Unfortunately, none of the questions were really meaty enough and they all fell into one category: Why do men piss off women?
Today I sent Tiny over to Tricia's blog. Stop by to see what he's been up to, how he knows Tom and what his favorite food is (I'll give you a tip - try the crullers!).
Yeah, that's a strong title, but it comes from a guy that has set himself and his house on fire several times. We all have our moments, people! So don't be hatin' because I admitted to not always being the smooth intellectual you see before you.
(Yes, it was hard to type that with a straight face.)
A few months ago, I got an email from a woman claiming to be from the Boston Globe. She asked that I give her a call. I did a Google search on the phone number and the name because I have some very creative friends that just love practical jokes. Sure enough, she was a reporter from the Globe.
I thought that, maybe, she had gotten an early copy of The Reluctant and was so impressed that she wanted to do an interview. Even if I were not that lucky, surely she wanted to talk to me about something to do with the changing face of the publishing industry. Maybe she needed an author's view on newspapers? Maybe she wanted to know about the trials and tribulations of an author in today's world?
Nope. It was about food (see link to the article below). A pastry that seems to now qualify for the endangered species list, to be exact. I was disappointed that her interest in me had nothing to do with my books but, after all, I probably know more about food than writing.
This is where the strangeness of the Internet comes into play.
There had been a discussion on the GoodReads group, Creative Reviews, about pastry where I mentioned my love for the cruller. This reporter, Jenna Russell, was looking into the mysterious confection and had done a Google search of her own. That forum discussion and my name popped up.
We chatted on the phone for a half hour or more. She even did a follow-up call a few weeks later. She had uncovered new information on the subject and asked if I thought that “twisted sticks” qualified as crullers. Pffft! Not even close. I am a purist when it comes to unhealthy and delicious food.
As the weeks passed, I gave up on the fight to save the disappearing cruller. I figured that an editor with no taste, so to speak, had killed the story. Would anyone else besides Ms. Russell and me care about this ignored delicacy? I had my doubts.
Tonight, I received another email from her. The story is posted. Other people care. I am not alone. If you are a closeted and frustrated cruller fan, you may speak openly now. Cruller sightings are occurring with more frequency. Your desire does not have to remain secret. There is battle yet to be waged, but there is hope.
I know a bunch of people want print copies and I cannot thank you enough for the support you have shown me.
The books are due to be released through Amazon on February 14th, but I just found out that I can make them available on CreateSpace (an Amazon company) NOW.
As a “Thank You” to the people who have given me that support, I am going to go ahead and offer them early through CreateSpace to my friends on Facebook and people that follow my blog and Twitter.
Plus, there is a discount code which can be used for both books on CreatSpace to receive $1.00 off each book:VZ3KMHHA
The list prices on the books are $8.99 and $9.99 respectively.Yes, they are less expensive than most trade paperbacks on the market and we did that on purpose.We make the same on them (without the discount coupon) as we do on the $2.99 eBooks.
If you were waiting for a print copy, there you go. Hope you enjoy!
Our question today comes from my bud Heidi over at Rainy Day Ramblings who is confused by what men say.
Dear Tom,
Can you define how many beers are involved when you say,
"Hey honey, I will be home a little late, I am going to go out with
the guys and have a beer? "
Dear Heidi,
First...we were hoping to get your voicemail and were thrown off a bit when you actually answered.
Second, what you are referring too is an advanced level of “man-speak.”
Our question today comes from Elise over at ECWrites. Not only is her blog hilarious, but if it doesn't touch you once in a while, you should try out for the leading role in the next Grinch movie.
Elise asks:
Dear Tom,
Why do men only remember the last 30 seconds of what a woman says? Why isn't it 15 seconds or 60 seconds? What's so magical about 30?
I am a 77 year old college graduate who believes that one can never get
too much education. Can you recommend a school for cougars?
Sincerely,
Fishducky
Ask Tom Says:
I thought Splitter might have already had to resort to faking questions when he sent me this. I still think this all might be an elaborate scheme to make me look like an idiot, but since Splitter is paying me ten bucks to give my views, I will answer.
Fishducky, you go girl. Er….ma’am. I think it’s great that even though there is snow on the roof, the fire in the furnace is still burning strong! I do, however, have to question the wisdom of targeting 20 year old college boys for your amorous desires.
If the student union is to be your hunting ground, make sure the school has a good history department. Face it, no matter how tireless your young buck might be, you are going to have to talk to him at some point. I am not saying that all 20 year old men are idiots, but they are not going to hold the intellectual attention of such a worldly woman for long. To you, they are going to seem stupid.
Like a wise man once said, you can’t fix stupid (sound is NOT safe for work):
If you mention the Cuban Missile Crisis and the young man thinks that is a stomach disorder caused by Taco Bell, you might have a communication problem.
If he thinks John Wayne must be Lil Wayne’s brother, you might have a communication problem.
If you talk about the Bay of Pigs and that reminds him of his last pool party at the Pi Delta Moo-Moo sorority house, you might have a communication problem.
My strong suggestion to you is that you not fool around with the twenty-somethings. Maybe set you sights on their fifty-something professors. After all, even though you can’t fix stupid, you can fix some things with a little blue pill. You reading me on this Fishducky? Anything lasting more than four hours is a party, just beware of chaffing and heart murmurs.
If you do insist on pursuing those college boys, I think you will find that most people will not hold it against you. Even though people look askance (that was my word for the day!) at young women who date older men and think they are only doing it to rob the old guy of all of his money, society has accepted the modern day cougar. It is perfectly fine for older women to date younger men. After all, it is much easier for 21 to go into 77 than for 77 to go into 21…
I hope that helps,
Tom
Disclaimer: Views expressed here do not represent the views of the owners of this site, or even polite society at large. Views presented here are solely those of Tom Crayder, star of the BEST SELLING series, The Crayder Chronicles. Blame him.
The Reluctant just exploded onto Amazon’s “free" eBook charts.
We hit:
#2 in Free, eBook, Fiction, Action and Adventure
#2 in Free, eBook, Fiction, Contemporary Fiction
#24 in Free, eBook, Fiction
#34 in Free, eBook
You will note that in that last category, we were competing with EVERY other free title out there, fiction or non-fiction. We topped the Bible at one point.
They say that authors should never talk numbers, but you know me and my attitude about “the rules” nonsense. I was honest with you people when no one was reading the book and when only a few, my happy few, were reading it. I will be honest again: over the last three days, The Reluctant was downloaded more than 11,500 times.
I am truly humbled to think that so many people have my first book in their hands. I will continue to be honest: I made it free so people could sample the series and get hooked enough to buy the second book and future books. When I opened my author dashboard on Amazon’s KDP site, I thought the number (somewhere around 5,000 at the time) was a mistake. I would be lying if I said I expected it to shoot to the top of the charts in a day and hang there.
It will not last forever and when I start the freefall from the top of the genre charts, I may need a hug. But, it was tremendously fun and exciting to watch the numbers mount. Yes, I took screen shots and especially love the ones where The Reluctant was listed right next to a James Patterson book.
Are we allowed to use the term “Best Selling” now as we promote the other book and future books?
Hiedi over at Rainy Day Ramblings was kind enough to have me on for a guest post.
This post is REALLY about how writers SHOULD NOT respond to reviews. So, I break that rule (it's what I do here!). See my response to Heidi's very thoughtful review.
Then you will know why authors should never respond to reviews...
Today, we begin a new feature here on Splitter's World: Ask Tom Tuesday. Each Tuesday, Tom Crayder will drop by to share his thoughts on questions that readers have sent in.
Our first question for “Ask Tom Crayder” comes from Cambria Hebert at Cambriahebert.com where today, she is asking: who is your favorite villain? No contest for me: Khan from Star Trek. The series or the movie, he is awesome in both. Go give your answer on Cambria's blog now!
